ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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