we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
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I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
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I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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