So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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