We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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