GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
