Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
