Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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