Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
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Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
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But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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