Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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