oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
