And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
