he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
