Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
