I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
