I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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