with your own penis?
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize