Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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