My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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