just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
