I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
