I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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