Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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