I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
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It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
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Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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