Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
be right there i have to get my cape
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
