i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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