Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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