Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My feet surprised me
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