He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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