And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
