I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
