Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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