Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
