I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
