Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
