I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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