Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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