hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
