i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
What a dumb baby whore.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
