he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize