The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
