Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
