ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
