? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Boobs speak an international language.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
