Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
