hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
