And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
