areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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