is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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