Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
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