There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
