two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
