thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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