Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
your address is 607B right?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.