Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim

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  (678): And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim http://tfl.nu/sj8k
  Replies (51) Good night (1395) Bad night (5204)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....

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  (269): i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn.... http://tfl.nu/s1xw
  Replies (20) Good night (738) Bad night (5357)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch

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  (812): Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch http://tfl.nu/sdde
  Replies (13) Good night (5006) Bad night (1078)
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  (626): View more from California

  It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.

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  (626): It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/eowy
  Replies (17) Good night (6804) Bad night (937)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.

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  (502): She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused. http://tfl.nu/76xl
  Replies (17) Good night (2084) Bad night (2710)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.

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  (937): i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage. http://tfl.nu/bqw6
  Replies (22) Good night (1971) Bad night (8627)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "

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  (207): She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? " http://tfl.nu/wyfp
  Replies (10) Good night (5652) Bad night (1180)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH

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  (775): I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH http://tfl.nu/ef88
  Replies (9) Good night (2204) Bad night (715)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.

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  (520): I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me. http://tfl.nu/h8vm
  Replies (5) Good night (2029) Bad night (633)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...

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  (937): The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night... http://tfl.nu/fmz0
  Replies (4) Good night (1144) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.

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  (512): Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail. http://tfl.nu/3erx
  Replies (5) Good night (920) Bad night (352)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire

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  (315): Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire http://tfl.nu/4zum
  Replies (7) Good night (733) Bad night (296)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.

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  (520): Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions. http://tfl.nu/3zgw
  Replies (0) Good night (642) Bad night (407)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could

  (1306): View more from

  well, that escalated quicky

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  (306): he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could (1306): well, that escalated quicky http://tfl.nu/lv5m
  Replies (5) Good night (1301) Bad night (376)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?

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  (651): I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this? http://tfl.nu/kchb
  Replies (2) Good night (339) Bad night (289)

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