You're completely useless in the revolution.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes