wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.