Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(204): View more from Manitoba

My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash

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(443): View more from Maryland

Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.

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(813): View more from Florida

either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.

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(818): View more from California

Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(208): View more from Idaho

Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese

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(206): View more from Washington

She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

So was this before or after he cried about trump?

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

After

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