Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.

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  (805): My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years. http://tfl.nu/zmw5
  Replies (18) Good night (3840) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol

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  (303): it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol http://tfl.nu/7ss1
  Replies (1) Good night (3069) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.

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  (610): I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you. http://tfl.nu/0cak
  Replies (13) Good night (1346) Bad night (2477)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.

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  (228): It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression. http://tfl.nu/876s
  Replies (11) Good night (778) Bad night (1995)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.

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  (209): Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir. http://tfl.nu/1rs6
  Replies (21) Good night (1731) Bad night (1129)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  You sure know how to make a day worth living.

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  (616): i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed. (1-616): You sure know how to make a day worth living. http://tfl.nu/maop
  Replies (4) Good night (822) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST

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  (254): STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST http://tfl.nu/fj6v
  Replies (6) Good night (493) Bad night (876)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.

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  (386): I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters. http://tfl.nu/2e4j
  Replies (8) Good night (981) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.

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  (207): Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out. http://tfl.nu/biah
  Replies (5) Good night (489) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.

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  (717): On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities. (240): Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing. http://tfl.nu/nf7v
  Replies (0) Good night (476) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"

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  (918): The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo" http://tfl.nu/4ubw
  Replies (3) Good night (413) Bad night (245)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.

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  (+44): no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day. http://tfl.nu/lzsp
  Replies (3) Good night (547) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.

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  (252): It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless. http://tfl.nu/axbx
  Replies (3) Good night (415) Bad night (219)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Omg that was my second thought of the morning.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  First was that we had pop tarts.

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  (802): Omg that was my second thought of the morning. (802): First was that we had pop tarts. http://tfl.nu/egcs
  Replies (0) Good night (420) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?

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  (603): Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club? http://tfl.nu/0f4q
  Replies (5) Good night (440) Bad night (339)

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