If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.