Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
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Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
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Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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