You can't motorboat a personality
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
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