You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
