My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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