thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
