Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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