I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
