yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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