I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
