Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
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The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
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