two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
