Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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