I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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