Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
