I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
