There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize