Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just had sex on a roof
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
