I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
We're facebook friends in real life
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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