Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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