New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
